Career Hopper Pillows

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"It's been hell since you went into animation."

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

Ace headhunters.

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

Planned service changes

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'Mom, Dad. I've made up my mind. I'm going to skip college, hire an agent, and pin all my hopes on a professional bass fishing careers.'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

'From now on, Bob, you'll have to fetch your own newspaper and slippers. I'm ready for a career change.'

"Baldo, I don't care what you are...as long as you're good at it."

Multi-Species Employment Agency. Did you hire the octopus for that job opening? Yeah, but I did interview other applicants. The frog was a strong candidate ... I'm flexible on location -- I'm an amphibian! The whale seemed to be hiding something. The gap in my resume? Uh ... I was beached for a while. And the pig wasn't smart. I see "USDA Approved" on your resume --- I don't think you understand what that means. The octopus got the job because he was a great multitasker!

'Please don't be hurt, Dad, but I've decided to go into gathering instead of hunting.'

'Get out there and keep your job!'

"Let's honor this young future farmer - he's ready to endure hard labor, long hours and outrageously low farm prices..."

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'

"At the moment I'm torn between the emotionally rewarding but poorly resourced role of a social worker or a more intellectualy rigorous career in quantum physics."

"Why do we keep trying?""Because we need purpose..."

Something tells me his current firm aren't going to be happy to let him go!

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

'You're kidding... I've got a masters in philosophy too!'

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'