Career Development Aficionado Pillows

'You seem young, Perkins. Why, I bet I was incarcerated before you were even born.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Staff support"

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

Reach for the Star.

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

International Women's Day.

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

Pipe Dream.

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

I'm a self-made man!

"At this office no two days are different."

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'