Career Climber Gifts

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

'The trouble with opportunity is that it comes disguised as hard work.'

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I chose the one that said, 'Mergers, acquisitions, incredible bonuses.'"

"Why don't you try learning from your own mistakes?"

"In six more weeks, these M.B.A.s will be ready for market."

"Based on your resume you're not really qualified for the job...but there's just something about you I like!"

Tenure.

'Long term I want to enhance my leadership skills and ascend the corporate ladder. Short term I want a mocha latte.'

'...the job is so much harder when you don't know what you are doing.'

The key to landing a good job is patience, persistence and timing. And networking.

Over enthusiastic headhunter

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

'How did you become a doctor?' - 'I started as a patient and worked my way up.'

"I like your attitude, Harris."

'I think I'm right for this job because I'm a real people person. Now, are you going to hire me or not? I don't have all freakin' day!'

Goldilock tried the third chair and it was juuust right.

Career chart: you are here...you should be here.

'Take my word for it, this looks like a good career move.'

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

'I hate his kind. They use their integrity and hard work to advance their careers.'

"Are all these letters of recommendation from your mother?"

'I'm a wife, a daughter, a working mother...and you're asking me if I can MULTI-TASK???'

'I'm happy to report that the position has been narrowed down to you and 958 other people.'

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

Responsibility and duties

'How could you have thirty years of experience when you're only twenty?'

'Sweetie, when we leave you every day with Sarah, we're doing it for you. That way we can have successful careers, and you can be proud of us.'

'...it may be advisable to think of a referee other than your mother.'

Your position on the career map.

'Yes, I do find motherhood fulfilling. However, I find being a sales Vice-President even more fulfilling.'

'As the intern, it'll be your job to work for free.'

'...we have every new employee spend time on our assembly line. Eight hours, no breaks.'

'I didn't have a glass ceiling I had to break through... I had a golf course I had to conquer.'