Career Catalyst Prints

Guidance Counselor's boxes, 'push'--'shove'.

National corporate ladder of success monument.

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

Do you have any other skills?

'And finally. . . where do you see yourself on the food chain 5 years from now?'

'That's Oog -- he got a haircut and a job.'

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

'You must be the only 'Jack-of-all-trades' who is out of work in all of them!'

'Thanks for the promotion offer but I was hoping to sleep my way to the top..'

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

"Things are looking up!"

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

I'm stepping out to look for a better job...

Planned service changes

"I see you have a lot of experience in re-tail. . ."

"Ambitions... to make a career change from tourism to sales."

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

'It's a difficult position to fill. Someone who's smarter than me - and smart enough to pretend not to know it.'

"Yes, I'm sure you do deserve further career advancement. But if I promote you again you'll have my job!"

"The itsy-bitsy spider went up the corporate ladder. And he didn't care how many lives he ruined along the way. I know, this isn't the book Simon & Schuster wants. But it's the damn truth."

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

"Remember when everyone told you this job would lead you nowhere? Well, you've arrived!"

'Henry has found his niche with us.'