Care Package Creator Pillows

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

Fragile stamper.

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

Grandma was very innovative in her ideas!

Egg Buggy

"Any improvement since I brought the balloon?"

"The legal people are terrified of litigation but I insisted that we write an apology to the client of the lack of service. . . as long as we don't sent it!"

'Special Delivery!'

'Next day to the coast! You must be nuts!'

'I know the marketing budget is stretched...but I still think we need professional models!'

"Dear Mum, please stop sending me food parcels..."

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package †major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

Advertising Agency - "Phew! Fooling some of the people all the time is hard work."

Christmas package.

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"

"I'm addicted to online shoppin. It's so bad that I have a hallway full of unopened parcels."

'You want to insure it? --Just exactly what are you implying, buster?'

"Emanaditas...grilled cheese sandwich...a mango... Oh yeah! And ice! Last time I sent a care package to my brother in Iraq, he said it was all spoiled."

Discreet Shipping

"We save all the original packaging in case we have to return something."

"And no matter how many times they got it redelivered they were never home to receive the package."

Delivered Pretty Much To Your Door!

"Yes, I do all my shopping online. How did you know?"

"I need a minute."

"It's not exactly shopping. Many companies have my profile, they send me stuff they know I'll like and they bill me for it."

"I was at home all day yesterday so when do I want you to re-deliver? Yesterday!"

"We need a new 'mission statement' to tell clients who we are! I was thinking of 'aspiring to excellence'."

'It did say on the parcel, 'please do not bend'!'

"Online shopping saves me time, so I can work more to earn more to have the money to buy more stuff online..."

"Look! It's everything we forgot we ordered online!"

"Am I a bad parent for giving him a weighted blanket?"

"Thanks again. You've got a great house and a fun care provider."