Cardio Conquerors Pillows

'Me? I took my cardio to the next level.'

'My feet are killing me.'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

One man's obstacle is another man's stepping stone.

The trim reaper

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

Mountain climbers face a closed route.

"I know you're scared, but you can do this! Remember that time I had to clean up after you and I didn't have a bag and had to use leaves?! I was so afraid, but I did it…"

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

'But you said to clean my room.'

Yoga To-Do

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

'There's an app you can program to delete your trash? I've had one for years called Dave.'

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

'Since it's Mother's Day, we'd like you to take the day off.'

"Walking down here and asking if I can get you some more detergent from the store is just the beginning of my fence-mending agenda."

"Nice hopping. Now what?"

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

"No monsters under this bed! After I cleaned there's no room."

Whack-A-Chore: "You play it all day, every day, until you can't anymore."

Climbing the mountain up towards business opportunities.

'Really, it will be fine. Go home and give it a try. Wash lights with lights and darks with darks.'

Boss, what would you say if I told you that if you don't give me a raise, I'll go work somewhere else? I'd say "Wouldn't it be a shame if your letter of recommendation mentioned how you're an awful employee?" And I'd say "Isn't it a shame the town council has made sure this is the only cafe within fifty miles?" But the way, have you delivered my latest care packages to the council members? Very bad man.

Cleaner being carried away on a magic carpet.

'No breakfast until you're finished making your bed, Joey.'

'I can see you're going to be a bit of a challenge.'

"He's mad because smart trash bags that take themselves out don't exist yet."

"Sealed for your diets protection."

To do list