Carbohydrate-conscious Pillows

I TRIED to give my teacher an apple...but she won't touch any carbohydrates!

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

'McWit, that's not what's meant by carbo loading.'

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

"I'm retaining doughnuts."

Deep in the Heart of Texas: The Cholesterol Kid.

The big pause

"One slice—hold the bread."

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

"Got anything else? I gave up carbs."

Complex Carbs

Complex Carbohydrates

"She thinks I think it's real latte, but I know decaf when I taste it."

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

'The automatic doors won't open.' 'Your carbon footprints are too light.'

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

"That reminds me, your Dentist called."

Crusty Bread

"I thought you were trying to go carb-free?"

'No, no, no. I think it's great that you exercise and diet. I just wonder if perhaps you exercise and diet too much.'

"Psst... jelly doughnuts."

'Not that we don't appreciate the popcorn, but how about something low-carb next time?'

Low Carb Slop

"I'm taking you off sugar, carbs, red meat, poultry, dairy, non-dairy and anything served in a bucket."

"But Dear, there were no fat people before bread was invented!"

"Pasta-nonymous Tuesdays & Thursdays. Unlimited breadsticks at 7."

'Hey, uh, maybe you oughta take a break from the sugar water.'

'We'll have to be more aggressive with your diet. I'd like to try something I call 'The Carbivore''.

'Raymond, do you really love me or just my low-carbohydrate meat?'