Carb Critic Pillows

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

'McWit, that's not what's meant by carbo loading.'

Car Emissions

"Put away the gummy candies and bring out the apples. The kid's mother is our dentist!"

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

Complex Carbohydrates

Complex Carbs

"Med Brittle"

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

Critics In Love

The Additives Arrive...'This cereal tastes like it has some sodium propionate in it.'

Crusty Bread

"I got horse dewormer..."

Candy Land for Adults

"Let's see if there's another witch's cottage with a better candy selection."

Pat Buchanan - Political Commentator.

'I hate chocolates that are gooey inside but I love Valentine's cards that are all gooey inside.'

"Your mother eats all the wrong foods."

"IT's a radical new diet I'm developing. I knock out all your teeth so you can't eat and therefore you lose weight."

"I thought you were trying to go carb-free?"

'And in today's health market - coffee is up, fats are mixed, and sugar continues its downward slide.'

'I suggest you go easy on the fast food.'

"But Dear, there were no fat people before bread was invented!"

"Pasta-nonymous Tuesdays & Thursdays. Unlimited breadsticks at 7."

'We'll have to be more aggressive with your diet. I'd like to try something I call 'The Carbivore''.

Trump in Disappointing Halloween Candy