Carb Craver Pillows

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

'McWit, that's not what's meant by carbo loading.'

'I need affordable daycare now!'

"Ask Mom for Sweet Chunk Cookies. If she says no, ask Grandma."

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

'Are these mushrooms edible?'

Complex Carbs

Complex Carbohydrates

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

"I'll have a gluten-free, hypoallergenic vegan cookie with whipped hand-sanitizer topping."

'It's very important to have balanced diet.'

'Please help - can't afford sweets - spent pocket money on mobile phone credit.'

'He's sulking because I caught him licking the cake shop window.'

Crusty Bread

"By opening this cookie you are agreeing to whatever terms..."

"I thought you were trying to go carb-free?"

'Don't you dare!'

11pm chiller cabinet of last resort.

"Pasta-nonymous Tuesdays & Thursdays. Unlimited breadsticks at 7."

Bad Carbs

"I always drink from a travel mug. It makes me feel like I'm out of the house."

Twitching coffee shop.

"I don't think he understands how an Easter egg hunt works."

'We'll have to be more aggressive with your diet. I'd like to try something I call 'The Carbivore''.

"I'm taking you off sugar, carbs, red meat, poultry, dairy, non-dairy and anything served in a bucket."

'Yo yo brother, I gotta bounce.'