Car Sales Humorist Gifts

'You're the third car salesman in a row that has recommended one of these for us.'

Larry's used art

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

'It seats two comfortably.'

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

CLEAR!

Mohammad's motors

'God's speed.'

"An enormous amount of advanced engineering has gone into our latest models. That's not to say, of course, that an enormous amount of advanced engineering hasn't always gone into all our models."

'It's exactly what I need to drive our only child to school at the end of the road.'

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

'Do you have any of those cars with 'My Child Is An Honor Student' bumper stickers on them?'

"This electric car is environmentally friendly and will bring your family closer together."

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'How about a nice saloon?'

Volkswagen Scandal

"Don't mix this up...I want a car with a moonroof. He wants one with a sunroof."

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

'I need a lot of trunk space.'

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

'Beware of SUV.'

"We can now shop for, purchase and crash our new car online."

Barry gradually realised that buying a small car had its disadvantages

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

"And this model features a nifty, manual back-up device."

"Man, how to you guys get that great new flying saucer smell in here?!'

'Some people say they're ego-compensation, but what do they know.'

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"