Car Makeover Artist Pillows

'I heard you were going deer hunting so I camouflaged the car!'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"What old school? This is my life."

'This is what happens when we give up our resistance to change.'

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'I wanted a change in decor.'

"Perfect."

A man drives a car with the word "LAWYER" painted backwards on the front hood so that it can be read in the rear-view mirrors of other cars.

"I'm starting my own podcast about cars! I'll get to talk for hours about my favorite models and customizing my ride!"

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

'I had a little cosmetic surgery done this week.'

Dog Sticker Family

'I thought that we would grow old gracefully together, but Bruce has to get 'pumping iron' out of his system first.'

Non Drip Paint

"Phil, you've done a terrific job of reinventing yourself...but we see here you're still just patent pending."

'It's up for adoption. Just pay to have it fixed.'

Sailor and car

My child was Soup of the Day.

Painting leaves onto a window.

'I don't suppose you fellows know who did that to my car ...'

'Orville keeps bragging about restoring that car. He fails to tell people it took him 70 years.'

Spray painter.

"Is it day or night, officer?"

'My decorator said I should hang Art on that wall, but I don't think he looks good there!'

'I've been glamped!'

'What can you possible see in this piece of junk?'

The benefits of decorating

Extreme Makeover.

'I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm giving you a ticket for not speeding, but driving too slow.'