Car Decal Collectors T-Shirts

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"Do you buy cars here?"

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'It seats two comfortably.'

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

"Time for bed, guys."

Generic Store: Sign in Window

'God's speed.'

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

"This car is a retro classic. Instead of a USB outlet there's a cigarette lighter."

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

"An object of love that you can get inside, totally inside."

Big yellow sports utility vehicle.

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

James May

(Road sign arrow.) As geez, we're merging down to one plain.

Chicken Road Crossing

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

Acme Corp - In business since 1927 BG. 'The 'BG' stands for 'Before Greenspan'.'

Acme Flyswatters.

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

"This baby can take you from zero to cardiac arrest in 60 seconds!"

'Now can we start a family Nigel?'

"We argue a lot about money--her library fines, my antique car collection..."

'Built in obsolescence: Mini with a wind up gramophone.'

"Do you have anything smaller?"