Car Comedist Pillows

'Are we nearly there yet?'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

CLEAR!

'No, don't tell me, your electric garage door is broken.'

'And here's the toolkit.'

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

'Beware of SUV.'

"The kids have stopped saying 'are we there yet?'"

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

For every dog who gets the window seat, there's Steve, the designated driver.

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

Person who refuses to admit age on board. Feel free to drive with wild and reckless abandon.

No Hand Signals

Lucky car.

"Drat! A flat tyre. . ."

No U-turns

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

Pine tree driving a truck with a human-shaped air freshener hanging off the mirror

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

'Do you remember what make of car it was, sir? -- We'll have to order parts.'

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"

'I swear this self driving car is falsifying it's records to avoid an insurance rate hike."

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."