Automotive Humorist Pillows

'Whoever 'pre-owned' your car pre-wore it out.'

"Clear!"

Tin man visits automotive oil change facility.

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

"And this model comes with a virtual mother-in-law in the back seat to make it feel authentic."

"Located the problem. Your intake manifold was full of chads."

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

New Big Three bailout cars?

"Can you give me a rough idea of how much over the top your estimate will be?"

Your problem is a hole in your glove box!

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"

CLEAR!

Self Service Petrol Station

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."

"Your '94 Nissan wants you to know she's fine."

Submerge Right.

"Dad, our car doesn't handle too well on ice, but isn't it a comfort to know the airbags work?"

"Look! A mussel car!"

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

World's cheapest car

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

'Beware of SUV.'

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

Disoriented while talking on his cell phone, Pat made a series of wrong turns in the unfamiliar office park.

"Okay. Hit it."

'... Yes, that's right. It has had one careful owner and three not so careful owners.'

All you'd expect in a British car!

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."