Car Cleaning Connoisseur Pillows

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Car wash / Mouth wash

"Washing your car will cause it to rain – science or superstition? We investigate on the next 'Cause and Effect.'"

Man has applied car wax and sees the whole car melt in the sun.

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

A 1950's Barber Shop

"Actually he only asked for a buff-up."

'The Anal Retentive Astronaut.' 'Just LOOK at all this DUST!'

"Hello job security."

'We're very lucky, really, with our poltergeist.'

"Do you have any idea what it's like to be underappreciated by your boss?"

"Our smart car sent a text saying it went to the car wash to get all the winter salt off it. Did it also have to say because I was too lazy to do it?"

'I see the Maids have been in!'

Decluttering. . .

Junior's Towel

'I'm after a longer dipstick. This one doesn't reach the oil anymore.'

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

Laundromat: Bulletin Board - Have you seen this sock?

New more powerful, furniture polish.

"Why are you trying to develop a flying cow?"

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.

"Now, that's what I call a skyscraper!"

'Our dog needs a bath too.'

'Being married is a very expensive way to get your laundry done for free!'

"I can't watch this, it's disgusting!"

'I haven't paid four dollars a gallon since I bought that swamp land in Florida.'

"This is wonderful - a completely dust-free lab. What do you study here?"

"Clues, Watson? How can I find clues when all I see is germs?"