Captivated By Captains Gifts

"Your sailing skills are improving but you need more work on the 'drop anchor' part."

The Dubloon Stops Here

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

"Ramming Speed!"

"I've passed your complaints along to the captain."

You're bottling things up, aren't you?

'He runs this firm like a ship.'

Sportknitting

Hooks R Us.

'Jam roly-poly, treacle tart, ice cream... We're in luck, it's a dessert island.'

The Old Man and the Noodle.

'Well if it's a sandbar, why are we going in circles?!'

'Put it down, it's the captain's log.'

Man struggling to row,

Next years calendar.

Statesman, Scientist, Author and Treky.

'I'm wearing me treasure, rather than burying it!'

'I do try to walk more! The donut shop is a good 1/2 block further tan the health food store!'

'One day, this will make a wonderful metaphor.'

A pirate fishes using his hook.

'I'd be happy to give you an allowance for work you do around the house, but you'll get $5 a week, not this boat.'

"I'm exhausted. Get your own damn tea."

Student Loan Lenders Are Predatory

"Come on Frank. I didn't mean to catch a bigger fish than you."

"And this is where I met your mum."

"Spinning, reefing, tacking...they sound like a dress making circle."

'I got tired of trying to get it into one of those tiny bottles.'

'Well one of us need to watch him, otherwise he's liable to take somebody's eye out!'

'The bad news is, we only had enough money for one birthday present. . . the good news is that your mom has come up with a really fun way to see who gets it.'

Anesthesiology class, day one: 'OK, count backward from 100...'

"I know it's your name, Eddie. I just don't think it's the best name for a boat."

'This diet is killing me! -- Last night I dreamed that I ate Willy Wonka!'

I've put a lot of myself into this business...