Capitalism Commentator Pillows

'That might work as your own personal mission statement. But what we're really shooting for here is something the whole company can get behind.'

"My government is very concerned about your government's torture and maiming of potential consumers."

'Remember, it's not a lie if it makes us money.'

"About our shareholders of course."

"Personally I don't think our salaries are too high - I see them as legitimate compensation for the emotional trauma we suffer due to the public's disdain for our high salaries."

'A market ruled by only three companies is bad for the customers and it puts down development and innovation. I would be a strong opponent to such a market, if I didn't own all three companies.'

Bill Gates takes over the Pearly Gates.

The Good Boys - Bill Gates and Warren Buffett

public and private sectors

Poor man and rich man

"Today the market closed at exactly the right price, and all buyers and sellers were very happy."

'Since we all have to believe in something, I thought, 'Why not money?''

Creative labeling

"Pre-silicon Capitalism to see you."

Sell thyself

"My gut tells me this is a time to mute our hoopla."

'My rationale for 'obscene' profits is they're protected under the first amendment, so why not go for it?'

Magic tour.

Capitalism: The Wolf and Sheep

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

Statue of Liberty Burns Money As Flame

"Remember when 'The sky's the limit' was something we wanted to hear?"

F.W. Woolworth and Karl Marx Go Into Retailing

"Have you made enough money yet? No, me neither."

The Birth of Free Market Economics. I wish I had a rock. I wish I had a stick. (Published originally on August 8, 2005.)

'There must be some way to make a buck doing this...'

Father Christmas dishing out money for the retailers

'We buy Armenian.'

'Don't say I didn't warn you. The rising tide of consumer indifference is finally catching up with us.'

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

"What do you get the person who wants everything?"

Rudy, we're going to have to cut expenses. We already did that, boss. I don't think you're clear on the concept, minion. It's a way of life. Did you read one book and then never read again? Did you listen to one song and then never listen to another again? Did you kiss someone once and then never again? Cutting expenses isn't something you do just once. A good businessman cuts expenses constantly. Whether he needs to or not. You trim the fat. When you run out of fat, you trim the nerves and the

Help me! I am unprofitable? This is why you are condemned to wear the red letter U. It can't be. I've raised prices, cut labor costs, I

Economists generally agree that consumers don't trust products that cost too little. If an item is too inexpensive, it seems cheap. A higher cost connotes quality. Price hike! Beware the rabid capitalist bearing economic theory.