Canteen Owner T-Shirts

Please bring me a glass of hot water to wash the cutlery.

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

Nothing beats the love of a good cat.

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

'Do you have any catsup?'

Fast food. Even faster food

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

Today's special... donuts.

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

Try to guess the continent dining...

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"This is our soft opening."

Hashimoto's Restaurant - Sushi Like Mother Used to Make!

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

Desert $2.75. See? -- It wasn't a typo.

Kitchen Kapers

"The food isn't bad, but I don't care much for the floor show!"

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.