Canned Food Appreciators Pillows

Chicken soup for the stomach.

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Menu Dating

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

The Official Covid-19 Diet

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

"I might just get a pie."

Back in 5 minutes!

WHACK!

Am Awful Crammer.

Old Spice

'You know, after a long hard winter, I just HATE eating out of cans.'

"I'm learning to appreciate the simple things in life."

'Can we get the corn that's already been chewed?!'

Slow food restaurant

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

"I want to see it as art, but I keep asking myself 'is it really grocery?'"

"...an excellent fighting lager with just a hint of park bench."

"Pinot Noir, God's apology for White Zinfandel."

'I'm sorry the cod was not as good as when you came a month ago. It should have been - it was the same fish...'

"If I had a restaurant, it would be called the Can and Microwave"

'I like the look of the sherry trifle.'

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

"Now that's art!"

'Snob, he won't eat domestic slugs, just imports.'

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

'Lovely soup, just like my mother used to open.'

"That was my kind of party...good food, good people, good-bye."

'You know full well, your gastric band won't work if you keep eating spaghetti like that!'

'No, no... I ordered a tart, not a tort!'