Cannabis Capitalist T-Shirts

"When I said 'buy low, sell high' I was just referring to stocks in general, not just marijuana stocks, Mr. Arlo."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

Bribes for Jabs

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary

Cannabis: Anti-seizure Medication

"Really? You mean you’ve never smoked a joint?"

"I, too, hate being a greedy bastard, but we have a responsibility to our shareholders."

"You come highly recommended. I like that."

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

"Compliments of the chef - Our finest blend of 'Maui Wowie' dated 1972."

'Join us. There' a talk on medical marijuana and a pot-luck dinner afterward.'

Nobody warned Marge that a side effect of a hip replacement is feeling more hippy.

*Not suitable for those with an allergy to consciousness expansion

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

"I am the Genie of the Bong! I will grant you... um... I am the Genie of the Bong!"

"I don't prescribe opioids, but feel free to grab a CBD-laced lollipop on your way out."

"Dude, we've struck cannabis oil! We're going to be rich!"

'They say pot makes you less motivated, but I've already been to Taco Bell eleven times today.'

'I hope you kept the receipt.'

'Yep. Rex here is the best darn drug-sniffing dog on the force.'

"I think Fred is doing more than growing exotic plants!"

At last - Stonedhenge

I love NY Bernie

'I'm making pot pie.'

'...and if you want to buy marijuana, just press the hash key!'

"Do you have a strain that pairs well with Chunky Monkey?"

Pot Busts Gone Wild

Joke's Joke Joint

I shall now unveil my first great experiment in exploitative capitalism. Oh joy. Institute for Capitalist Exploitation. Beneath this sheet is an extraordinary creation. I give you … The new cafe exclusive VIP premier executive best customer reward card. Available to anyone who pays $9.95 a month for membership. Fine print: Includes no benefits.

Unmotivated

"I think i saw a ghost, Dude. It was wearing Booooooots." "Was it, like, a male ghost, or did it have Booooobs?" High comedy,

"Your condition is serious, Mr. Reynolds, but fortunately I recently scored some excellent weed that should alleviate your symptoms."

'I was very upset when I found my son smoking a whole bag of pot by himself... I've always taught him to share.'

The Joint: State Deficits and Millions in Tax Revenue.