Canine Identity Pillows

'If dogs named themselves...'

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

Plan to Split California into Six States Proposed....

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

'The results of your physical exam are fine, except for your reflexes: They're more 'dog-like' than 'cat-like'.'

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

'You have no idea how hard I've gotta work just to maintain my indie cred around here!'

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"It's the cat doc, he scares me."

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

Balloon dog poos.

Man and dog on exercise bikes.

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

"He belongs to a lawyer."

"Do you guys want to go for a walk?"

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

"Don't you worry about me. I always land on my feet."

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

Wonders of evolution: Same face, totally different meaning.

"I vow to never again bat around someone else's fuzzy mouse."

Word on the street is that he's self-domesticated.

"With this suit, I hereby establish dominion over my male identity."

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.