Canine Critiquer Pillows

"'Pee on the carpet!' That's your solution to everything."

"You know, there are other emojis."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

-'God that looks disgusting.' -'You're telling me.'

"Don't be fooled, it looks easy but I've yet to meet a dog who's mastered it."

Sick Exhibitionist

Silicon Valley Bank fails, who else?

'Thanks to me, you can save the money for the cat food from now on and put it into more reasonable investments!'

Grade 'A' Grass.

"A cat wouldn't answer."

'I like it.'

"Sure, you used to be a YouTube sensation. But what have you done lately."

Bird in Flight.

Teleshopping

"That was a silly way to split the dung Fred! How are we supposed to roll our share home now?"

Dog Food Testing Lab.

Honk If You Hate Cats

"Seriously? You do not look like a William Arthur Huffington the Third to me! Methink this is a fake pedigree..."

"I do enjoy group activities."

'Great car-chasing scenes!'

"I like the part where she says, 'woof'."

'I can't eat somewhere that deals with their taxes so reprehensibly.'

'When I decide you need my opinion I'll charge you $450 per hour for it.'

"That's OK, they're not yelling at each other! They're yelling at the TV: a politician is giving a speech..."

"I love it when dogs work on their stupid."

"This isn't tap water, is it?"

'I'm more of a cat person.'