Canine Conductor Fan Gifts

'Orchestra Pit Bull.'

No littering...

Garbage Piñata

Santa Dog

Dogs all across town saw fit to teach their owners a little empathy...

"Instead of playing with that boring ball you got me, I updated your computer's operating system, I cleaned your keyboard and ran an antivirus scan."

Kid tows his large dog in wagon with 'wide load' sign.

'Mmm … and he's ringing wet too. I just can't resist the smell of a wet dog.'

Museum of Bones

"Yeah, and the new job lets me work from home."

"We're giving you our complete cooperation. There's no need to bark at us!"

Dog park. I'm terrible with names, but I'm good with butts.

Animal immigration

The Rolling Bones

'First we had her fixed, then we had her gussied up.'

"Binge-watching squirrels. What are you doing?"

Parrot annoying dog.

"Well, when you were called a 'bad dog,' were you publicly harmed?"

Some Zoomies

Using dogs as greeters at church was a failed experiment.

"I don't feel like I'm making any progress, it's like I'm just chasing my tail again."

'He's not too picky. He'll sleep through most anything.'

"...31, 32, 33, 34! Boy o boy, the old lady moving in next door has 34 cats!"

"I'm not his best friend. But he is on my extended network."

"My promotion case went through: I'll get two fish per trick now..."

Tiger suddenly realizes he enrolled in the wrong class.

'You know Rosco, our species just ain't what it used to be.'

"Yes, but why did they use a picture that makes me look fat?!"

"Let's try it again. This time with a tad less mania."

"You're right, you DO smell like a wiener!"

'They have great rapport.'

"How's the new job?"

'Merry Christmas!'

Despite what his friends said about 'ugly Christmas sweaters', Chester couldn't wait to have his holiday pet photo taken...'

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'