Canine Cohabitant Pillows

"I'm sick too."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Foster failure"

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Is this any way to treat 'Man's best friend'?"

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

'He barks when he sees the boss coming.'

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

Hush puppy.

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

A man and his dog

"I'm working from home today."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'You're not supposed to catch them!'

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

Wagging Dog

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

Dogs

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached