Canine Chauffeur Gifts

Man on motorbike with side kennel.

The light is green.

Driverless car

'Which license do you wish to see?'

"This high beltline is a deal breaker. Gotta be able to stick my head out the window when I drive."

A dog driving a car as a man sticks his head and tongue out the window

'Next time you drive!'

'Nope. He doesn't qualify you for the carpool lane.'

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

'It's the law. Everybody wears seat belts.'

'He rides in the car with his head out the window a lot.'

'Aren't you supposed to be going for a walk?'

"Yes, the mobile dog groomer is nice, but in the old days, "grooming day" meant a nice car ride to go to the salon..."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Bathing the dog

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

"Cheers mate, you've done me a solid."

"But this time, Lucky, when I throw the ball... you bring it back!"

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

Wild animal - 1,500 years later...

"That's it - your diet starts tomorrow"

Upper East Side Dog Park

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

'It's exactly what I need to drive our only child to school at the end of the road.'

"You've already been for a walk."

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

'You're hired as far as I'm concerned Edwin! And look at these guys?...They seem to really like you!...You're a natural!'

'I've stopped him using the exercise bike...'

A cart pulled by increasingly small dogs

"He wants a second opinion."

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

'Marmaduke, have you been drooling on my cookbooks again?'