Can Opener Collector Pillows

"They're in charge because God gave them more can openers."

'This isn't as easy as it looks.'

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

Pet Entertainers

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

'Can I have mine with the peak at the front '

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

Official Team Cap With Beard

'Does my head look big in this?'

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

"Aye, now that I'm retired, the can opener seemed more practical."

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

"How can you say my hat is on back to front when you don't know which way I'm going to go?"

"I want one of those!"

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

As you like it - One way of catching fish

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

'We thought you'd like music during your building inspection.'

The Black Hole the National Observatory just discovered, where temporarily misplaced tools and parts go.

"I guess I always wanted to be an electrician. As a little boy, I ran away to join the circuits."

"It's just a little device I use to help relieve the anxiety from meeting new people."

"For only five dollars more, the guy let me have the 'Smart Hammer.'"

'I wish you'd buy another hat!'

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 2

DIY Store "I don't know why we come here..."

Octopus Baseball Fan

"If, in the future, you're unclear about what I need you to gather when I say nuts ..."

Ed's Salary Cap