Campus Socialite T-Shirts

'Dr. Young is a professor at one of the nation's leading party schools.'

Freshers Week

"My email is down... talk to me."

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

Cellphone Islands

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Children's Party

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

"If we're a team, the manager should take the heat!"

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

'Look at him with another business model on his arm.'

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"Brian's considering the optics."

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

"Your cubicle is fun, too. Now if you'll excuse me, I was invited to Jim's cubicle."

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

A day at the races

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

"Nothing beats work events to mingle, build relationships, and backstab fellow colleagues."

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'