Campus Life Commentators T-Shirts

Campus police are dorm troopers.

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"No, the Geo Metros, Hyundais, Rabbits, and Kias belong to faculty - the Alfa Romeos, BMWs, and Volvos belong to students."

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

'Thirty years in academia and all I got was this chair.'

Scenes we'd most like to see...

"Quit your whining... Someday you'll appreciate affordable student housing."

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

"If what you don't know can't hurt you, I'm safe from math, English, history, and science."

"I'm holding George back this year because he's failed to forge a personal style."

True Debate Fun

"First period music always leaves me with a tune stuck in my head for the rest of the day."

"Graduates, faculty, parents, creditors..."

'Dude, you gotta lay off the Mac n' Cheese!'

Taser incident.

Cutting Room Floor

'Today I have dumbed-down philosophy, followed by dumbed-down chemistry and dumbed-down English lit.'

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

Philosophy Department: You are Here...But why?

Trouble at med school - "Gosh, it's already my third day and I'm still sober."

"So how's that math grade looking? What's the team GPA this year?"

Campus. It seems logical that when cleaning the statue of the dental school founder we should remove plaque.

"That's the famous Josh—a high-impact body harboring a very low-impact mind."

The cost of education

Canine Frat Parties

"There was a time when only the rich went to university... now even they can't afford it."

'No Billy! I am not ready to see you yet!'

"The good news is that the Remedial Learning Program is more popular than ever, which is also the bad news."