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"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

Santa does a keg stand.

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

Teacher and students.

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

"Well, my IQ is 180--and that's in Centigrade, not Fahrenheit."

"I need a gap year."

The farm-raised catfish goes to college

"Term paper?! How do we do that? We haven't done a term paper all year!"

'It was your typical student flat: dirty dishes, broken furniture, grubby carpet and cracks in the walls'

Taser incident.

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

Did I cheat? You're not wearing a wire, are you?

"I guess we love Uni because we get to narrow our minds with like-minded people."

Philosophy Department: You are Here...But why?

Trouble at med school - "Gosh, it's already my third day and I'm still sober."

The life of a professor is great- it's either publish or PARIS!'

The Medical Student

"So how's that math grade looking? What's the team GPA this year?"

"We just want you to know that wherever you wind up going to college is fine with us, as long as it's someplace we can brag about to our friends."

Campus police are dorm troopers.

Canine Frat Parties

"That's the famous Josh—a high-impact body harboring a very low-impact mind."

'Interesting specialist subjects.'

The Dean of Physics Demonstrates the Basic Premise of Give and Take, And in Particular Take, To Professor Kott.