Campfire Strategists Pillows

Accountants around the campfire.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

Desert Island BBQ

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

Harsh Mellows.

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

'Dad! Dad! Dad!!. . . We lost our signal.'

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

Roasting the Moneybox

A marshmallow? Oh, no, thank you, I'm good.

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

'Marshmallows ready! Now for the roasting...'

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

"Okay lets go. You can message your friends after dinner."

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

"Let’s not speak of this, Tommy – scouts’ honor?"

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

Flash Cuisine

"This one's really scary. It's about what's happening to my 401k."

'Heidegger-Hi!'

"Well, they look friendly enough."

Creepy Camp Stories.

"He must be a pro. He's got his own stick."

"You were right, Louis. . . I was cold before, but now it's warm and toasty."

Shepherds washed their socks by night.

"Let me take you back to a dark time when all you could do with a phone was make phone calls."

Nobody likes a smore loser

Have food. Need toilet paper

"and when they woke up, the kids discovered that the house had just one 19", black & white TV that only got... 3 channels."

'Is the fire included?'