Campfire Starter T-Shirts

'This match won't light.'

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Desert Island BBQ

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

Harsh Mellows.

A marshmallow? Oh, no, thank you, I'm good.

Pan Extension Chord

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

This "fire" invention is taking more wood than we expected. The First Cost Overrun.

"Can we set the flame to a medium high?"

Roasting the Moneybox

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

Oog invented fire, then he accidentally sat in it and invented walking upright.

"Okay lets go. You can message your friends after dinner."

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

'Marshmallows ready! Now for the roasting...'

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

"Your wheel idea was a huge hit, so what have you got for me this time?"

Me cold. Need heat cave. Fire works. To make metal tools, I need to melt these rocks. Fire works. I'd like a romantic atmosphere for my date tonight. Fire works. How should we celebrate the founding of our new nation? Fireworks!

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."

Good luck with that quest for fire thing! I'm just going over there to eat some grass!

"Let’s not speak of this, Tommy – scouts’ honor?"

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

Flash Cuisine

'I was just rubbing sticks together for fun -- I didn't realize I was doing basic research.'

'I was just rubbing sticks together for fun -- I didn't realize I was doing basic research.'

'An no one heard him scream when they screwed on the pump and slowly drained all his vital fluids...'

"He must be a pro. He's got his own stick."

Creepy Camp Stories.

Nobody likes a smore loser

Shepherds washed their socks by night.

"and when they woke up, the kids discovered that the house had just one 19", black & white TV that only got... 3 channels."