Campanology Fan Gifts

"I'm just going for a tinkle!"

"This place has the best happy hour."

"Another flue shot, Larry.

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

'No more for me, thanks - I've already had a skinful.'

DIY marriage counseling.

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

"Ding" "Dong"

Damn. Out of quarters again for the Pay Electron Microscope.

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

'The anaerobic ones are just sitting there, but the aerobic bacteria are doing jumping jacks, sit-up, leg lifts....'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

Workplace Confidentiality.

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

Therapy for the cow dependent

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

'I'd like an 'Innuendo' please - a big one.'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

Big Moon Brewery and Alphonso's martinium

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

"I'd like a portrait of me in the style of him."

The Woman Who Could Talk to Engineers...

'I keep having these flashbacks.'