Campanology Fan Gifts

"I'm just going for a tinkle!"

"This place has the best happy hour."

"Another flue shot, Larry.

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

"Has it occurred to you that you keep getting beaten up because that's your true purpose in life?"

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

'No more for me, thanks - I've already had a skinful.'

DIY marriage counseling.

"Ding" "Dong"

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

Damn. Out of quarters again for the Pay Electron Microscope.

'This reminds me...what generation iPhone are you?'

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

'I keep thinking I'm being watched...'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'The anaerobic ones are just sitting there, but the aerobic bacteria are doing jumping jacks, sit-up, leg lifts....'

Workplace Confidentiality.

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'I'd like an 'Innuendo' please - a big one.'

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

Therapy for the cow dependent

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

"I'd like a portrait of me in the style of him."

Big Moon Brewery and Alphonso's martinium

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

Ignore that guy - He thinks he deserves attention because he's italicized. I.

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."