Campaign Trail Adventurers T-Shirts

Despite appearances, Scott Walker has never been kicked in the head by a mule.

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

'Oh, we could reduce the deficit, but it'd just leave stretch marks.'

Cruz and Fiorina: DetesTED and DetestETTE

Donald Trump

'It's not my job to worry about the 47% of Americans who are irresponsible. Wait I didn't state that very elegantly. It's not my job to worry about the 47% of Americans who are irresponsible.'

Advertising Agency - "...Fooling some of the people all of the time is damn hard work."

VOTE!, 'If elected, I'll sponsor legislation for a $10 billion study of Government hypocrisy!'

Race to the presidency.

"Hi from the US Supreme Court conservative majority...we hope you're all enjoying this campaign season!"

'It's my job to teach you to grin like ike, and damnit, you will grin like ike!'

"Don't forget now. Don't knock 'those people in Washington' anymore. Those people in Washington are now you!!"

Trumpelstiltskin: "I can spin straw into gold."

Campaign 2010.

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 5

"The Blueberry Bagel, having triumphed on the East Coast, heads West."

"Slogan."

"I'm running for congress to be a media celebrity. If you want a legislator, vote for a lobbyist!"

Requiem for Progressives

Independents still undecided.

"So is there anything apart from us stopping being 'a bunch of cynical dishonest lying hypocrites' that would help us secure your vote?"

'So...watching the democrat national convention made up your mind who you're voting for?'

Election to-do list

Obama's favorite potato chips.

"How many homes do I own? Have you ever asked anybody else running for president that question?"

"He's good, but he's no Donald Trump."

Deer with Crosscut Saw.

"Say what you will about my family, but please respect my equity's privacy."

"An appealing, fresh-faced moderate? BORING!"

A man cleans up the mud slung at Hillary Clinton.

Elect Fred O. Pittley: The Candidate of ALL the special interests.

"And now... we nap."

'If re-elected, I promise to do everything in my power to avoid prison!'

VOTE, 'I'm here to tell you what you want to hear....'