Campaign Nerd Gifts

Gordon Brown.

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

Ahem. I'm eating. Not now, please. Just one tiny question. Believers I American exceptionalism have always said we're the paragon of democracy. So I'm just wondering … How come one party is passing unnecessary laws that'll keep millions of us from voting? They're robbing us of our voice! Could've surprised me.

Turkish Democracy

'The recession is over, again.'

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

President S Grant's Proposed Civil Service Reform not to the Taste of Certain Senators

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'For five years you can't get a single politician to take any notice of you...and then half a dozen turn up at once!'

'Confusing, dangerous times call for confusing, dangerous leadership!'

Cherchez la femme

Arrest Them Later

"Europe has learned...yeah, this time we don't need a war to destroy ourselves!"

'Remember when the worry was over little swift boat attacks?'

"I'm looking for a man who has an unwavering character, except when he's talking to me."

Tony Blair

Transgender Bathroom Debate

EU - Constitution

"If reelected, this time, I promise not to procrastinate for four years and then try to get all my governing done in one epic all-nighter."

'I've got it! - We'll call it the SUPERpatriot Act!'

Messenger Pigeons

'Here it is, Your cellphone.'

"The last thing that I intend to do is to stand here making a display of my patriotism."

"Good news-- people are no longer calling your campaign quixotic."

Stephen Harper on the attack ads.

Victim of Sequestration!

"Here she is, the girl of my dreams! We're in love and we're going to get married! And she's made out of boxes!"

'The press is calling you overconfident. Stop using ‘Hail To The Chief' as your ringtone.'

'I wrote my own speech once. It didn't sound like me at all!'

"We all know the Senator's position regarding term limits."

'Not only have I never been a Congressman, but I've never even set foot in Washington!'

"Take Elevator B To The Fourth Floor Then Turn Right..."

"Dad has promised that if he becomes President, we'll get a dog."

You're suffering from pre-election fever brought on by competing promises.