Calorie Calculator Pillows

'Let me have 20% fat, 40% carbohydrate, 40% protein and a cup of tea,'

Only 75 calories per serving. 652 servings per package.

"It's not that you've chosen the wrong diet, it's just that you're not meant to eat them all at once!"

"We're not dividing the bill. We're dividing the calories. Two people had cheesecake..."

"Well you did say you wanted something gluten, sugar, fat, additives and calorie free."

'Do you have another menu of what I can have?'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"Here's your dessert. A guilt counselor iss standing by to help you once you calculate how many calories you've consumed."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

All Natural Nothing

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

Secretive Weigh In.

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Diet considerations.'

Dieting Motivation.

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

Sisyphus Sawyer

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

Extra Rich Cream Cakes

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'