Calorie Burning Pillows

'Yes, maybe my high metabolism DOES keep me slim.'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

Secretive Weigh In.

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

All Natural Nothing

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

'Diet considerations.'

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

Dieting Motivation.

Sisyphus Sawyer

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

Extra Rich Cream Cakes

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

'This exotic dessert I make is guilt-free. I already burned all the calories running around finding the ingredients!'

Calorie averaging...With the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get one French fry.

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

'Do we have any empty calories in this house!!'

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'