Call Screen Master Pillows

'It's that automated heavy breathing again.'

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

"I'm so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all."

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

"I'm not the only one who hates you changing the channel every second. Now when you want to watch TV, the remote escapes."

The Art of Bantering!

"You had the persistence to figure out our complex phone system just to get an interview. You're hired!"

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

"I wonder which will come first. Me finishing this binge worthy Netflix series or another Netflix rate hike."

'Helen! I'm all settled in and I don't want to get up. Would you get the remote for me?'

TV Remote undoes a man's trousers.

Is that a new hi-tech remote? Yeah, it's a real game-changer!

Mind control

I'm so busy at home I need three hands. One for the chips, one for the beer, and one for the remote!

'It's the TV remote - he has a death grip on it.'

"No, this movie isn't dragging. You've got it on 'pause'."

Printing Room

'Must...find...something...intelligent..!'

What Dads Are Made of,,,

"Every appliance, every light, every bit of electronics in the house is controlled by a single remote that I haven't yet been able to find."

"Watch out for Bernie...he's a man of few words but a lot of gestures."

"Hey, don't kill the messenger! I just display what he tells me to!"

Four thousand dollars later and there's STILL nothing to watch!

I'm away from my desk. Any message you leave won't be of any importance to me.

'I've lost my voice...'

Missing the score on a split-screen TV

No calls, I'm resting on my laurels.

"I think your computer is suffering from separation anxiety, because it's following you."

'My land line is always busy...that's my answering machine fending off robocalls.'

"Ten more minutes of media manipulation, then it's off to bed."

New Years Resolution

'I wish someone would finally make that Tucker Carlson shush! I would but I can't find the remote.'

'He's been trying to control the television for years.'