Call-loving Communicator T-Shirts

"How nice of you to call me out of the blue, young man. It so happens I have forty-five million just sitting in my piggy bank, and maybe having a broker wouldn't be such a bad idea."

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

'Boss, it seems like a friendly text, but you've got to learn to read between the emoticons.'

"Go on, say it again, 'I love you' in Armadillo."

Time for speeches

By teaching the parrot a few key phrases, Marilyn no longer needs to nag her kids.

'Of course, this social contract will have to remain hypothical until someone invents writing.'

'I'm dropping you a lion.'

". . . But, hey, man, I just want to say this in all sincerity, man, that you are the greatest, man, you the el numero uno cat in my book, man you. . ."

'This is Kevin O'Shea, my big sister's answering service.'

Bird Messaging

Bell invents the telephone.

'It's for you.'

"I'm gonna make this short and to the point."

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

"Anything wrong, sweetie pie? You've been ignoring the tip jar lately."

'This is Jake. I'm not in now, so please leave a message...HELLO! HELLO! This is Jake! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm just mesin' with you! I'm still NOT in!'

I think I have too many apps.

'Don't worry, I'll make sure she sees it!'

"How do we improve our image with customers?"

'If I don't love you, Susan, why'd I call you during anytime minutes instead of night and weekend minutes?'

'I'm just opening him now. Stand by and I will give you a detailed description of what I find inside your husband...uh...hello?'

'Beep... Hello, it's the Black Knight again... Could we move our fight to Thursday morning? Call me back...'

Learn from your mistakes...this is the last time I let you talk me into a double date.

Yes, I'm sitting down, Sally

Sorry I missed your call – I was on the other line.

I met a girl last night. It went well. Do tell. We saw each other through a crowd. I winked at her. She winked back. If all goes well, we may get to second base tonight. Second base? We may exchange smiley emoticons instead of just hitting "wink." Are you sure you're ready for that?

'You don't me- I'm not on Twitter or Facebook but I would like to be your friend,'

"Why can't we have a discussion without it escalating into a shouting match?"

'That was my wife. And boy, she sure freaked out when I told her I'm playing russian roulett.'

'No, you being from overseas wouldn't stop me going on a date with you...Whoa!! But that would! Quite a high voice for a guy.'

Thought bubbles and speech bubbles

Sixth word.... Sounds like... Bell! ...Hell? ...Well? ...WELL!! ...OK, then... so far it's 'Timmy BLANK trapped BLANK BLANK well'...

Emoticon Prison.