Call King Prints

"Do you have any idea who it is you're talking to?"

Counting ribs

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

Homo Gamus

TV-Man

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

'I like you, you've got balls.'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

Whistler's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson

The Unhappy King

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

An Advance Visit From The Three Wise Men

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

The Royal Wii

Like father like son.

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

"Another organization has already researched this, but I'm afraid that if we use it, we won't get as much credit."

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"Oh, Irwin, I wish to god you'd get rid of that thing!"

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'