Call Center Hero Mugs

"Thank you for calling. Your customer care balance is now twenty-two hours and four minutes."

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

Smoking Area. Oh, I don't smoke. I'm just addicted to ten-minute breaks.

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

'I didn't realize we'd employed a cyber bully in you, Miss Tweedy.'

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

"911, what is your major malfunction?"

"Did you remember to cancel the scam phone calls?"

'It just dawned on me that every time we make a phone call, it's a robocall.'

"I've been kept on hold so often, I'm really developing a taste for easy listening music."

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

The Communicator

"Hello?"

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

'I don't want to talk to any flunkies. Put me straight through to the computer.'

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

TECHNICAL SUPPORT, 'Have you tried pounding it with your fist?'

'I hate my life.

"You can't say that to a customer!"

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

'Thanks to his brilliant conversation techniques, Bob had the shortest calls.'

"Guys, can you be quiet for a minute please: I'm on a call!"

Stress

"For a list of the ways artificial intelligence is killing your job, please press one."