Calculators Pillows

'You'll find that math gets easier as you learn how to use a calculator.'

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

"Have you been working out?"

"Where the hell's my pocket calculator?"

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

'I forgave ya for puttin' 'em all in one basket, but this goes too far!'

'I dunno Jim...Accountancy just doesn't thrill me like it used to.'

Business Meeting

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that Professor Crenshaw finally traded in his slide rule for a calculator.'

'Well, arithmetic IS important. It let's you understand money so you can buy batteries for your calculator.'

School Supply Room. Look at this -- a calculator, a protractor and a compass! You've discovered the missing weapons of math instruction!

Blaise Pascal

'We think it's time we told you - you were early adopted.'

'... Can Willis come out and calculate formulae?'

'Wow, Professor Jones, that's an impressive back-of-the-envelope calculation!'

Economists generally agree that consumers don't trust products that cost too little. If an item is too inexpensive, it seems cheap. A higher cost connotes quality. Price hike! Beware the rabid capitalist bearing economic theory.

'Oh yeah, well your dad may have a better calculator, but my dad can add without one.'

'If our calculations are correct, Dr. Pinkerton, continental drift is speeding up much faster than anyone thought.'

"According to my calculations, you should float now...I think..."

"I can't believe I scored so low on my algebra test."

"Our clients like their accountants to use their 'imagination', but most would still prefer their returns in a spreadsheet."

Watch Salesman

'After two days of intensive calculations I have figures out why your company doesn't make any profit: your expenses are too high. That'll be 4, 785,000 euros, please.'

Dear Santa- Thanks for the awesome gift! p.s. did you know cellphones have built-in calculators? p.p.s. you suck.

ACcountants Lunch

All Eggs in One Basket world headquarters

'If the total is wrong, is the whole thing wrong?'

Accountant job

'We strongly recommend you buy the service plan.'

People think accountancy is just about numbers, but there is also the fractions, the percentages

Theoretical mathematician proving why he's had all he can take.

'I think that's right, but let me check.'