Calculation Scrutinizer Pillows

"Wait! That's not a decimal point! It's a dead fly!"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

"Have you been working out?"

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"We feel you're over analyzing things a bit too much."

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

Nuclear Security Summit

CATCHY NAME

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

'I wish there were true and false questions on math tests. At least that way I'd have a 70% chance of getting one right.'

The Math Institute √π*962.9 KM

"I see a flaw in your financial calculation."

'Well, arithmetic IS important. It let's you understand money so you can buy batteries for your calculator.'

Blaise Pascal

'We think it's time we told you - you were early adopted.'

'Wow, Professor Jones, that's an impressive back-of-the-envelope calculation!'

'Oh yeah, well your dad may have a better calculator, but my dad can add without one.'

G.P.S. for Poor Math Students

Watch Salesman

Bar None

"I can't believe I scored so low on my algebra test."

All Eggs in One Basket world headquarters

Truth in Labeling: 'Snouts, lips, jowls, cheeks and viscera enclosed in intestine and served on a bun, Mustard optional.'

Dear Santa- Thanks for the awesome gift! p.s. did you know cellphones have built-in calculators? p.p.s. you suck.

"It shouldn't happen this way. I'll have to alter the data."

Accountant job

'You have to learn arithmetic in case your computer crashes.'

The System is a Punishment for a Past Life

People think accountancy is just about numbers, but there is also the fractions, the percentages

Gonzo Marketing - batteries not included in batteries.