Calculation Champion Pillows

"We've worked out all the figures, we're just not sure what order to put them in!"

Math Dreams

Girl does mathematical equation. Man says 'Tut! Teenagers today and their problems ...'

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

'I don't care if he does have an I.Q. of 169. I still think he's faking.'

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"Have you been working out?"

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"We feel you're over analyzing things a bit too much."

"Sit and stay were no problem but she's hit a wall with multivariable calculus.'

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist, George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

I love maths.

The Math Institute √π*962.9 KM

'I wish there were true and false questions on math tests. At least that way I'd have a 70% chance of getting one right.'

'I told you you were missing a decimal point in you dynamite calculations.'

(Pi) 5 8. You can trust him to keep a secret --- He's non-repeating.

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."

'I march to a different arithmetic.'

'Well, arithmetic IS important. It let's you understand money so you can buy batteries for your calculator.'

"I see a flaw in your financial calculation."

"Be rational."

I think I have a 45-45 chance of passing my math class.'

"Your calculations are right- it's our teabreak!"

'Well, you're lousy at Maths, but I'm sure you'll become a great CEO one day...'

'Wow, Professor Jones, that's an impressive back-of-the-envelope calculation!'

'You were right. I had a misplaced decimal point.'

"But it's helping me learn my math!"

"Of course, I could be wrong."

'Oh yeah, well your dad may have a better calculator, but my dad can add without one.'

'There must be some mistake. According to our actuary tables I'm going to live to 83.'

"Wow! My calculations show that on Christmas night, Santa Claus will visit 1 house every .83 seconds!"

'Bananas...two ears...1.4 billion Chinese...you do the math!'