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'Imprisoned for life? Are you sure?'

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

Mou...Man trap!

Canine Comedians

'OMG! Is it Christmas already?'

Man falls off perch

'What's your poisson?' (Man reading report on Farmed Salmon Toxins Scare).

Superman's laundry

'Burf, I think the ants are trying to tell us something.

'Happy birthday, dear... It's an executive rock.'

Phill Jupitus

'I was expecting something a little more imposing.'

'There's something about being locked up with a 500lb gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time.'

"These should help me approach your father on his own level."

"That was a boring field trip."

Cats 'Playing' Cards

A cat is a dog in drag...'Bad dog!'

"All you have to do is get three of your friends, to get three of their friends and so on. You'll be rich."

"Hunter, gatherer, we don't really care, as long as it's healthy."

"Read? I don't read. I just collect."

Duck - 'Quack?' Lad - 'No, hallucinogenics.'

"I lined it up with our prenup."

'If you can overlook the newspaper on the floor, this isn't bad for a starter home.'

"How's my head size today."

'You've got to do something about your chocolate addition.'

'To be honest, I'm in favour of rock control!'

It's a buyer's market.

Is there more to being undead than chasing women? What am I really trying to hide by wearing a cape? Maybe I should give garlic another chance. For a vampire, Vlad was surprisingly reflective.

UFC on steroids...

'I read my newspaper online.'

'And how many are living in this dwelling-enlightened or otherwise?'