Cage Comedist T-Shirts

'If you can overlook the newspaper on the floor, this isn't bad for a starter home.'

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

A gift to complete the man cave.

"That explains all the cavities."

Building a better America - Financing by The Bank of China.

'He's really very busy but you can wait.'

Early House Hunting.

Interpretive Dental Hygiene

'It replaces all your small rocks with one convenient large one.'

"I am afraid Mr. Jones is in his career coaching session. Can I get him to call you back?"

'I've invented copyright.'

"That was a boring field trip."

Industrial Disputes: the Early Years

'If civilization means I've got to see a divorce lawyer instead of eating my husband, I don't like it.'

'You've been overfeeding the budgie again, dear.'

"I lined it up with our prenup."

"I don't care what you say when she leaves the cage door open there's a helluva draught"

'Where is this so called 'wild man' of yours, then?'

'It's addicting... I watch it eight hours a day.'

'Imprisoned for life? Are you sure?'

"The odd thing is that I'm not really a cat person."

"Are you decent?"

'Come on out and bring your club -- they just took dinosaurs off the endangered species list!'

'This is great! -- We've learned to talk the talk and walk the walk!'

'Want to really freak her out? Start coughing!'

"You get old and somehow hunting and gathering turns into knick-knack collecting."

"I don't believe I belong here."

"Hon, it's the landlord."

Father Parrot: 'One day Son, this will all be yours.'

"It's beautiful, but maybe we should ask the pilots to turn the heat up."

'Men! How many more times? This rock for woollens, middle for cotton and end one for wash 'n' wear.'

Strategic Wiper Adjustments: "Up just a tiddle..."