Caffeine Quitters Pillows

The psychology behind your desire to quit caffeine is fascinating. You say it's because you worry caffeine makes you a high-strung, ranting liberal but I think there's more going on. You'd rather blame caffeine than blame Hannity, Ingraham and other conservatives. If they're responsible for your rants then you've put them in control of your life. Analogously, I don't credit Jessica Simpson with my insomnia. How does this meathead come up with this stuff?

'Herb has gone 100 caffeine-free.'

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

'These are job perks.'

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

'You've had enough!'

Decapitated coffee.

Running Latte

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

The plan to increase productivity by canceling coffee breaks flopped.

'We're having an energy crisis of sorts. The coffee machine is broken.'

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

'Be a sweetie and get me a cup of coffee!'

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Coffee

"Miss Antonacci, please have a regular coffee and a cheese Danish remanded to my chambers."

Our Productivity Plan: More Coffee

"We work under a lot of pressure...that's why the drink machine offers Macchiato, Espresso, Scotch and Brandy."

This coffee can keep you up

'Sorry we don't do black decaf.'

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

Stress

Diner. Breakfast Specials. I'm a type "C" personality. Until I have my morning coffee I have no personality at all.

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

'Ridiculously Expensive Coffee.'

'Treasure map nothing! This shows the location of the only coffee shop on the island.'

"It would keep me awake all night, but I'm up for a game of coffee pong first thing in the morning."

When Coffee Is Not Enough