Caffeine Creatures Pillows

'Early morning is the best time to attack your prey: Before they have the chance to drink their coffee...'

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

'These are job perks.'

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

You've Had Enough!

Bubble gum leaves

"I'm trying to lure in Generation X-ers. They're the new sandwich generation. They're sandwiched between caring for their kids and caring for their parents. So they drink lots and lots of coffee."

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

'You've had enough!'

"Don't talk to me before discover coffee."

'We should think about switching her to decaf.'

'I haven't been able to go to sleep in this new bowl.'

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

Our Productivity Plan: More Coffee

I am coffee and I need more coffee

'Put down the coffee mug. I forget what you look like.'

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

"Congratulations! You unlocked the devil in your coffee. Microwave a seventh time and you'll meet L. Ron Hubbard."

"You took your time!" "Better latte than never"

Coffee-Rex: Even more irritable than a Tea-Rex.

Hang on, I need to find an outlet for my phone, computer and coffee maker. Caf

Stress

"This robot barista is so authentic it even got my name wrong."

"I'm fine. It's coffee."

"You gave her coffee again, didn’t you?"

Boss, what would you say if I told you that if you don't give me a raise, I'll go work somewhere else? I'd say "Wouldn't it be a shame if your letter of recommendation mentioned how you're an awful employee?" And I'd say "Isn't it a shame the town council has made sure this is the only cafe within fifty miles?" But the way, have you delivered my latest care packages to the council members? Very bad man.

"A barista should always follow his instincts."

The 6 A.M. News Team

I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp. Really? Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that? They post "reviews" that don't have even a hint of negativity. Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: "House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate."

Darlene? Rudy? I heard you might be hanging out here. I thought I'd come by just to say hello and see how you're doing. That's nice. Coffee King. I love you. Hence Coffee King. House of Java.

"Well, no wonder they're more producive than us."

For Edward, a cup of coffee was no longer enough to get him started in the morning...

'Looks like another typical caffeine overdose.'

'Please don't say a word to me until my coffee gets right...about...here.