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Knights of the Coffee Table

Eternal Student.

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

Back to work...

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

You've Had Enough!

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

'Would you all please congatulate...'

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

Writers without borders.

Law School teacher.

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

Mea Maxima Cuppa

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

'What's holding him up?'

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

"You're never home."

"Make sure the coffee has extra caffeine. I want the employees awake during overtime."

'You've had enough!'

National Coffee Day

"How about a little more coffee?"

Coffee Shop and Battery Charging Station

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

'You've had enough.'

"Don't talk to me before discover coffee."

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