Cafeteria Manager T-Shirts

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

Vending machines: Caffeine, Sugar and Carbs.

"We may go vegan in the cafeteria."

'And now a moment of silence so that we may never forget the tragic events of March 31st. . . when we ran out of napkins on sloppy Joe Day.'

Man from 'Environmental Health visits a caf� run by bugs

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

Today's special... donuts.

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

Cafe Burns.

Raphnrrf? Raphnrrf? Umpha? Frfee? Maamr? Pick.

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"It's a pumpkin spice latte pie latte."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

If you can't afford the milk you drink, there are options. I can put you on a payment plan. Minimal APR since you're such a valued customer. Valued?! You hardly treat me like I'm valued, you miser! YOU TREAT ME WITH CONTEMPT! Good point. Maximum APR, then.

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

'As if school lunches weren't bad enough. Now, they have to be nutritious!'

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

'They are poached eggs, sir -- we grabbed them when the chicken wasn't looking!'

Alf's Cafe - Egg, Bacon and Tomato Plate, Catering Pack.

"Of course I love school...but I love no more cafeteria food more."

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

"My depression is currently being treated with a combination of prescription medication and low-fat frozen yogurt."

Sign reads: No lingering over a good cup of coffee.