Cafe Frequenter Mugs

"Sorry, I'm the Amazing People Watcher. I'm going all I can."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'Do you have any catsup?'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Two vegans, please."

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

Non-Power Breakfast

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

National Coffee Day

'You've had enough!'

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

"We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion."

Coffee

"I'd say business was brisk."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Tree Cafe; Free Valet Parking

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

Coffee Menu

Swallows returning to Cappuccino.

Choice hellhole

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

"The WiFi password is: 'buysomethingorgetout'."

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'